NSJ

Nicholas slept from 11pm-1am last night (yay!). Then he yelled from 1am-5am (boo!). At 5am we finally got him to sleep and then handed off to Grandpa Lew (in from CT) for the morning shift.

What I don’t understand is how this little seven pound boy can yell four straight hours. I feel like at the absolute longest I could yell would be an hour straight. And I would need to stop for a power bar, some lemon tea, and a red bull at 30 minutes. I know for a fact this milk can’t have enough energy to generate that kind of sustained sound. So here is my new theory. Babies have figured out how to generate energy from nothing (infant room temperature fusion). This means babies are an untapped natural resource — what I would theorize is a nearly endless supply of energy. Wind, water, solar, geothermal, and baby.

Here is how it would work:

1. Wait for baby to scream
2. Screaming resonates specially tuned tuning forks
3. Vibrations of tuning forks heats water and generates steam
4. Steam turns any household fan in reverse
5. Special adapter generates electricity and puts it back on the grid
6. Profit

There are several side benefits:

• Tuning forks generate soothing noise to keep parents sane
• Tuning forks for vibration automatically bounces bouncy chair
• Hot water can be siphoned off and used to heat bottles

While I was up last night I drew a picture:

This is either genius or a product of sleep deprivation. I’m leaning towards genius.

I’m thinking four easy payments of $39.95 for the entire setup. Plus I’ll throw in an extra bouncy chair cover for the first 100 callers.